Plunged into the sentimental pit of the breakup, we often have the impression that this suffering will last forever. Betrayed, mistreated and abandoned by this person who promised us mountains and marvels, we feel broken from the inside.
How could she put an end to our story so easily? Are we so unworthy of being loved? What will happen to the future?
So many questions that drown us a little bit more in bitterness and despair. Lisa Letessier, psychologist, sheds light on this state.
Like pain, love is an ephemeral feeling. Thus, when the hazards of daily life catch up with us and the relationship of the couple deteriorates to become unbearable, the break remains the only option. However, we can see how much our couple is losing their wings, we are never really ready to face the storm.
Whether you are the instigator of this breakup or you endure it, the emotions felt will be just as negative. An argument that went wrong, another lie, words that go beyond thought are all factors that can push a person to end the relationship. But sometimes, the break can be life-saving and serve as a springboard for moving forward and moving forward.
How to Get Over a Breakup
Everyone reacts differently to the end of a relationship. Some will lock themselves up at home to look back, look at old photos and watch their ex's activities on social media. Others will go out, meet new potential partners to forget about it. The best strategy? Neither of the two. In fact, when a strong, long-term relationship ends, the pain is inevitable. Some even talk about "mourning love". For example, Lisa Letessier, a psychologist specializing in cognitive and behavioral therapy, highlights the steps required for reconstruction after a separation from love.
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Accept negative emotions
When we lose the loved one, we must deal with an overload of emotions often very difficult to bear. One can be gnawed by guilt and blame himself for certain missteps. One can also be victims of ruminations and constantly rehearsing memories, good or bad. On the other hand, many people experience anxiety after separation and say that they do not deserve to be loved. In reality, it is advisable to identify these emotions instead of undergoing them and to welcome them without judging them. "How do I feel by thinking of her / him?", "What am I really afraid of?", Are essential questions to take this step.
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To facing lack
After the identification of emotions, you have to know how to manage the lack. Indeed, separation can create a great void in our life. When the person with whom we shared our daily life decides to end the relationship, we have trouble forgetting it. Moreover, we are tempted to call her back, send her messages and harass her. But this will only delay healing. Thus, it is advisable to clean up, get rid of his belongings and remove it on social networks to advance to the sentimental reconstruction.
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Understand the reasons for the breakup
Sometimes one person ends a relationship without giving an explanation to the other. Therefore, this makes the healing process even more complicated since the person does not understand the reasons for the breakup. In these cases, it's up to her to ask the right questions to get better: "Did I choose someone who did not fit me?", "What would have caused this breakup?"
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Do a job on yourself
Sometimes our love choices are based on conditioning acquired in early childhood. Thus, we do not necessarily realize that we reproduce the same love schemes, always choosing the wrong partners. It can be very constructive to review what drives us to choose these people. "What situation in childhood influenced my choices?" "Did I suffer from a particular lack or fear?"
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Take enough time
Suffering can take months, if not years, if the relationship has lasted for a long time. But as we keep saying, "time heals all wounds". So you do not need to clutter with negative ideas and be pessimistic. Take the time to rebuild and move forward, and tell yourself that